So often I find myself stumbling into the thought process of thinking that the best way to protect my heart is to anticipate heartbreak.  This anticipation of hurt has become almost instinctual, and is the reason some of my relationships remain swimming on the surface.

Sam Smith’s new song titled “Too Good At Goodbyes” explains my usual approach to relationships a little too accurately,

“I’m never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me, cause everytime I open up it hurts.” -Too Good At Goodbyes

More often than not, my relationships start off with a passion to experience authentic love, but I end up loosing sight of loving authentically. When I consider the reasons why I struggle to love 100%, my mind focuses on past relationships. Whether it be with a boyfriend, family, or friend, so often I’m left giving more than I receive, and for this reason I am way too good at keeping my distance and ultimately saying goodbye. I make the excuse that,

“I’m just protecting my innocence, I’m just protecting my soul.” -Too Good At Goodbyes

The truth is that real protection of innocence comes from living life as a child of God, in awe of the perfect love of our Father. True protection of our soul comes from following Christ and seeking to imitate His life and the perfect sacrificial love He has for us. We were not created to have hearts of stone, our hearts were made to be hearts of flesh. This is so much easier said than done, because even when we experience pure and authentic love, fears and doubts still exist. The song goes further by saying,

“Every time you hurt me, the less I cry.”

So often I find myself accepting hurt, and being ok with it. But the gospel states that there is no reason to have hearts of stone, because the example has already been set. Our God is a God who loves his people intensely, and who desires us to live a life full of love.

St. John tells us in chapter four of his first letter in New Testament what it means to live in God’s love. He writes to us and says, 

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” -1 John 4: 18

We do ourselves and those around us a disservice when we live life in anticipation of heartbreak. When we live with hearts of stone, with little to no desire for them to be turned to flesh, we deny what we are created for.

We were made for love by love itself. Rather than living life in anticipation of heartbreak and a false idea of what it means to protect our innocence and our souls, live in love. Live life following Jesus’ example of perfect love. Live life holding onto the knowledge and truth that our hearts will be most fulfilled through one thing alone: a true, intimate, real, and full relationship with God.

When we enter into a relationship, a friendship with God, our lives will be transformed. Our walls will be broken down and our hearts will begin to return to flesh. God’s love can reshape and mold even the hardest hearts and throw out any fear of heartbreak.

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 

-1 John 4:18

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 Anna Dick

  (1 articles)

Motivated by the love of Jesus and chai tea, I serve as the food services director at Damascus Catholic Mission Campus. I enjoy belting out heart wrenching ballads alone in my car from Broadway musicals and watching DC superhero tv shows. When not at work you can find me crocheting and scrolling through Netflix or playing board games. My idea of a perfect date would be April 25th, not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

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